Monday, September 24, 2012


i was sure i was meant to be a wife.
to be a mother. 

i was sure of those two things. and possibly more. i knew i wanted to be a college graduate and i knew that i somehow wanted to contribute to my family financially. yea, a job. 

those goals were safe. they seem like very realistic goals and dreams that aren't too far-fetched. 

most of all i want meaning in my life. that there be a reason to do everything that i do.
that i would feel fulfilled because every minute of my day had meaning. 

there comes a time, after you graduate college, after you have a job, after you get married and after you have a child, that you seem blah. that you've accomplished everything in life. or, that you haven't accomplished anything. don't get me wrong. i'm very proud of my degree, my job, my husband and more than anything my son. i love all of those things and i'm blessed and grateful that God placed those people and those things in my path. but, then what? what do i do now?

do i sit at the right desk all day? is this what i'm to do?
does meaning, mean to add millions of babies. okay, maybe not millions ;)
does it mean to stay at home and raise children?
does it mean to be content in my life and be okay with where i'm at. to settle? is it settling?
does it mean making a new list of goals to chase?

i'm not sure what it means, and i think as a woman, it can mean lots of things. we have many choices and we are torn between providing for a family, or raising children, or balancing both. we are supposed to be womanly, but yet in today's society, some women are to be the breadwinner of the family. it's a tough game. 

these are all reasons i'm already enjoying our new bible study - Fragrance - at Family Church. 

We are studying the book - Lioness Arising by Lisa Bevere. She writes:

To all my lioness sisters who feel something wild, fierce,
and beautiful stirring within them.
You are stunning. You were born for this moment.
Don’t be afraid of your strength, questions, or insights.
Awaken, rise up, and dare to realize all you were created to be.

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