FILL IN THE BLANK FRIDAY

I need: to not worry. let God work his plan.

I want: a pair of black riding boots, and black wedge boots. those are up next on my fall shopping list.

I'm proud of: my talents. 

I pray: that my career will fall into place. that the position that i am meant to be in will happen and it will all just feel right.

I hope: i can make it through 20 miles tomorrow. yikes.

I wish: my schedule was less crazy. actually, i just wish there was more time in one day so that i could accomplish everything i wanted - talk to more friends, write more posts, spend more time with banks..... oh, the list of things i could do with more time.

I'm looking forward to: catching up with friends in newton this weekend!

HAPPY FRIDAY TO YOU!

ELEVENISH.

i usually always want to write. on the blog. i'm always up for a new blog post. 

whenever i have time, it's something i want to do.

today, i don't want to blog. i dont' want to write. because i'm so frustrated. and disappointed in myself. 

week eleven in training was awful. mostly because i didn't run nearly enough miles, and at that, my long run was absent. basically life happened, again, yes, and there was no time to fit in a 3 hour run. what worked for me, didn't for the running partner, and what worked for her, didn't work for me. no excuse. that's why i'm disappointed in myself. i should have just done it. argh. but, reality is, i didn't. 

so, here i sit, after week eleven feeling like a crappy trainee. i hate guilt. 

but, instead of dwelling on crappy week eleven, i'm going to stay positive and look ahead to week twelve. i can't go back in time,  i can't make up the miles, so i might as well just move forward. i only have 3 weeks until the race, and 26.2 is looking to be more difficult than ever before. i still believe i can do it, but i need some confidence, and that sure didn't happen last week. so i'm hoping after a solid week 12 i will feel as if i'm 'back on track'. 

this is what i'm thinking. BIG 4-0. that's right. i'm determined to log 40 miles this week and determined to finish out the month of september on a good foot - literally, a good foot.

note to self: everytime i choose not to run because of the weather, or because i will 'do it later' or because i will just take wednesday off, rather than thursday, it never ends up being a positive decision. face it: stick to the schedule, and you won't regret anything.

so goodbye eleven - that awful week that you were and the busy schedule that kept me from running - i will show you what's up in week twelve!

MY MEANING.

i was sure i was meant to be a wife.

to be a mother. 

i was sure of those two things. and possibly more. i knew i wanted to be a college graduate and i knew that i somehow wanted to contribute to my family financially. yea, a job. 

those goals were safe. they seem like very realistic goals and dreams that aren't too far-fetched. 

most of all i want meaning in my life. that there be a reason to do everything that i do.

that i would feel fulfilled because every minute of my day had meaning. 

there comes a time, after you graduate college, after you have a job, after you get married and after you have a child, that you seem blah. that you've accomplished everything in life. or, that you haven't accomplished anything. don't get me wrong. i'm very proud of my degree, my job, my husband and more than anything my son. i love all of those things and i'm blessed and grateful that God placed those people and those things in my path. but, then what? what do i do now?

do i sit at the right desk all day? is this what i'm to do?

does meaning, mean to add millions of babies. okay, maybe not millions ;)

does it mean to stay at home and raise children?

does it mean to be content in my life and be okay with where i'm at. to settle? is it settling?

does it mean making a new list of goals to chase?

i'm not sure what it means, and i think as a woman, it can mean lots of things. we have many choices and we are torn between providing for a family, or raising children, or balancing both. we are supposed to be womanly, but yet in today's society, some women are to be the breadwinner of the family. it's a tough game. 

these are all reasons i'm already enjoying our new bible study - Fragrance - at Family Church. 

We are studying the book - Lioness Arising by Lisa Bevere. She writes:

To all my lioness sisters who feel something wild, fierce,

and beautiful stirring within them.

You are stunning. You were born for this moment.

Don’t be afraid of your strength, questions, or insights.

Awaken, rise up, and dare to realize all you were created to be.

WEEEKND WRAP.

ahhhh. to sit down and... relax. 

what a great feeling. the only thing better - if tomorrow wasn't monday. that'd be nice.

our weekend was super busy, with birthdays, baby showers, weddings and family get togethers. fun, good times, but oh, so crazy.

garrett's brother shelby got married on saturday, after having a family dinner on friday night. we had a good time meeting his now wife, Alicia's, family and celebrating their special day at Botanica. 

basically, it was a weekend filled with lots of kodak moments. so, enjoy!

FRIDAY :: REHEARSAL DINNER

and... we got home after dinner to find none other than Uncle Dmo!

SATURDAY:: DAD'S 55th BIRTHDAY & WEDDING DAY!

so excited to be a ring bearer :)

and, then we chilled for a minute.. ahhh..

SUNDAY:: BABY SHOWERS, BIRTHDAY LUNCHES AND FRIENDS!

congrats to janelle and tj on their baby boy - coming this december! so excited for them!

dad's birthday lunch at the hereford house - so good. yummo!

and friends...

and... now i'm extremely tired. ahh. the bed is calling my name.

although, life lately has been so overwhelming with to-dos and jam packed calendars, i'm so blessed to have so many great friends and family members to share life with. 

it's pretty cool.