Monday, July 21, 2014

yes, I'm STILL pregnant.

Today, I'm 40w/5d with baby K#2. If you had asked me 4 weeks ago if I thought I would be pregnant past 40w, I would have said you were crazy. 
I'm not at almost 3CM and have been at 2CM for 3+ weeks. talk about getting your hopes up! I'm so glad I was freaking out 5 weeks ago about getting the nursery done, outfits ready, bag packed and plans outlined for Banks in case we were to go into labor overnight. I'm starting to forget what I packed, what outfits were bought and who I'm supposed to call when this all goes down. 
I average about 20 texts per day from friends asking WHY, or WHEN this baby will be born. friends, I love you, but your guess is as good as mine. And then Monday morning rolls around AGAIN and every co-worker is asking WHY you are at work. I'm ever-so-thankful for so many caring, loving friends, but ya'll I want this baby out of me as much as you do! 
even banks woke up on saturday morning and walked up to me and said "you still have a bump, mom?"
YES! Yes, Banks, mom still has a bump. (little does he know that even after baby comes I will STILL have a bump - that'll be fun to explain.)
I keep joking about how we haven't had the baby yet because it's a boy and we STILL don't have a name picked out. I guess that really could be the case... ahh!
At this point, I think i'm more frustrated with the fact that I'm trying to do everything "PERFECTLY" in my eyes to prepare for labor and I'm not accepting the fact that game time is anytime, and that I'm most likely not going to be 100% ready when the time comes, but rather I'll have to adjust to the situation.  With this I'm talking about our plans to TRY to go for another all-natural labor. Around 9PM I start freaking out every night thinking that if I go into labor NOW, i'll be way too tired to endure another possible 17 hours of labor. Or I'll eat too much and feel like I'm way too full to experience any type of pain..... always, many things we realize are NOT in our control, even things that we THINK are in our control, are not, and we simply must be obedient.
'Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it.' (Isaiah 30:21)
We need to wait on the Lord and trust that his perfect timing is best. God's word warns us not to try and speed things up and do things in our own strength ... 'There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.' (Proverbs 16:25)
There is a right time for everything. A right time to get married, a right time to have a baby, a right time to do everything. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says ...
'There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.' (NIV).

.... and for those who have had to endure the evil eye roll or the bad attitude I may have, I am truly sorry.... but, I will let you know when this babe is out!!! 
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